Expectations, minus reality, equal disappointment. This
is a simple equation, but its truth cuts deeply into the heart of older people.
We raised our children to be independent just as, hopefully, they raised
theirs. Many of us find we are members of the first of four generations. We are
often left in the dust of life and sometimes seen in the rear view mirror by
our offspring. But, this is the way life is! People live it and move on. That is
what we want for them.
Now, we have to choose the level of involvement we have
in the lives of our precious families. If we choose to sit and wait for them to
meet our needs and pay us the attention we crave, we are asking for trouble! We
must be the great grandparents and step up bringing love and wisdom and being
there when they need us. We are privileged to have a fantastic life perspective
that sees the bigger picture, but we must restrain ourselves from being
critical of our loved ones who have to make their own mistakes and deal with
this foreign culture we now inhabit.
My point is – don’t back off, choose to
make the move to call, write, or visit. Embrace their technology; don’t fear
it. Communicate love every chance you get. That is your job as a senior member
of society. Feeling sorry for yourself and choosing isolation must NOT be an
option. You will answer to the Almighty for such selfishness. Enjoy the
holidays and each day, but don’t impose high expectations on those you love.
Remember too, there are so many others out there like you. Friends are the
family we choose for ourselves. Thank God for them! DB 12/15/13
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