Death is Messy

I had a dream last night. In this dream, someone had asked me to give a eulogy at a large funeral. I did not know who died and was very nervous. I sorted through a pile of strawberries behind a curtain as I waited to speak. My hands were stained and a mess. Abruptly, I was told it was time to deliver the message.

Slowly and deliberately I began,

 “Death is messy.” I held up my hands.” It is the terrible interruption, the wrenching, tearing away of someone we love, someone we need, a part of ourselves, often. Death is unnatural. It was not supposed to be this way! Jesus knew it. It caused Him to weep. He knew that with sin comes death. O how He knew that. 

How do we handle it? We sanitize, we eulogize, and we sympathize, and empathize. We clean it up and try to manage the terrible interruption. We even joke about it. Irma Bombeck said, of her tombstone, “Have it read, the shell is here but the nut is gone.”

And that is true; the spirit that made the body of one we love is gone; but we are still here. Death is messy. Jesus lived with the knowledge of impending death. He said, “I came that you might have life.” He knew the cost of our eternal life would be His life. He spoke about it to His disciples often, but they denied it, just as we want to deny this messy fact. He even rebuked Peter for suggesting death was not something that would happen to his Master.

You see, we view death as the end. As humans with finite perspectives, we deal with what we see. And it is not pretty. Tears flow; we wail and moan from the bottom of our spirits. Jesus knows all about the agony of separation. Remember the cross and the dark time when the Father turned His face away from His Son?

How unnatural this messy, terrible thing is! Yet it is not an ending, but a wonderful beginning for the one who has transitioned “out of darkness into His marvelous light.” Jesus told us He is the “Way, the Truth and the Life…” He led the way for our saved loved ones to go , through His death on the cross. We read “absent from the body, present with the Lord.” For those who are left, the absence is huge. The truth our dear one is presence with Christ is hard to grasp because death is an unnatural thing to us.

Yes, it is unnatural to us and it should be, because we were originally created for living. Planted in our spirits is the longing for eternal life. If we can just keep in mind the terrible interruption is only that, a necessary part of ongoing, eternal life. It is the way those who trust in Christ begin a wonderful new life with Him.

But, we are left behind to deal with grief, the natural way to deal with this unnatural event. When we look beyond Calvary to Easter, we see the empty tomb. We hear the testimony of those who saw the Risen Lord. We can grieve for the fact of death, yet rejoice for the greater fact of eternal life in Christ. This Resurrection joy is the true reality, the natural continuation of the gift of life given to us who believe. So we say “Hallelujah, He is Risen, as He said!”

A divine promise has been kept! Breathe out a sigh of relief and take in the joy of hope. Grieving does and should last for a time, but joy comes in the morning. Don’t live there among the tombs and in the past. Live in the light of Christ’s promise of eternal life. Copyright Donna M. Bunkers 03/02/2016

Are you and am I living a DIY life? This day, December 27, 2015 is a good time to contemplate just what kind of life and legacy we are building. As far as it is up to us, our lives have a certain amount and type of content; a direction and focus. 

How successful is our Do It Yourself life? Recalling that the "unexamined life is not worth living...". Let's ask ourselves some questions:
1. How has my belief that everything depends upon me affected how I think, speak and act? 
2. Is it actually true that everything in my life depends on me? 
3. What does scripture say about the self-made life? (Prov.3:4-5, "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.")
4. Is it our culture or our God who teaches us to value self-determination and self-reliance as paramount virtues?
5. Where is there room in my life for dependence upon God, His strength, His help and guidance?
6. How many of my decisions would change if I made them prayerfully and ask myself if this choice gives God glory or not?

Let's think over how we are going top live going forward. With the help of self or dependent on God? This choice sets the course for the future.       Doma

A Few Things I Wish I Knew As A Newly Wed

Vision isn't too clear when you have stars in your eyes.Having a long honey moon can have it's disadvantages. It was not long and I could see things a little clearer!
 The first thing I learned was I did not need to state my opinions about everything.Silence is golden when it is not the result of a pouting session. Second, there was as much wrong with me as there was with him. Third, his love language was way different from mine. I preferred words of affirmation and spending time together. His language involved acts of service and giving me gifts. Fourth, you cannot expect a man to not want to fix whatever you just want to talk about. If you just want to vent, talk to your girl friends, but not about him! Fifth, and most important,it is much more important to be loving than to be right. Sixth on my list, don't recite a litany of wrongs and bring it up it at every opportunity. Last, be honest and don't keep secrets, ever!
 D.

Timing Makes a Difference

Jesus received word his friend Lazarus was sick. Did he immediately respond and go to Bethany to heal his friend? No, he delayed for several days. If he had gone right away then his friend would be one among many that Jesus healed. The women expected healing but it was not to be. They both confronted Jesus and said, "If you had been here, our brother would not have died."

But the man was dead, very dead and had lain in the tomb for four days. Lazarus was beyond healing, he was lifeless. A man may have the gift of healing, but only God can give life to a lifeless body. When Jesus called out to Lazarus, the Lord of Life was speaking, not just a friend of theirs with the gift of healing. It was time for Jesus to reveal his true identity and it happened after he made those ladies wait. 

God's timing is precise and has amazing results. He can bring life to us. He can do more than heal us or deliver us from sin. Jesus can transform us by his Spirit's power. This transformation into new life takes time and our cooperation. We may have to wait sometimes and be still, knowing he is doing an unseen work in us. When we believe and receive what Jesus has to offer, we have life as we never experienced it before. We shake off the grave clothes of trying to earn our way to heaven and joyfully come alive in Christ. Then, our good works come out of our love for God and for people.    doma

Solitude vs Loneliness

Solitude versus loneliness, I have been wondering what the difference is, do you know? Loneliness has negative connotations. It seems sterile and lifeless, dark and empty. Solitude sounds much more positive, but what makes the real difference?

The word loneliness often indicates a lack of human company, and yet, some people say they feel alone in a crowd. It must be a state of mind then. Loneliness must be how one perceives the condition of their well being, of their satisfaction, of living in their own skin comfortably.

Solitude, may also indicate a lack of human companionship, but without the negative feelings such a condition may generate. Could so-called introverts thrive in solitude while extroverts are starved by it? What would it take for an extrovert like me to relish solitude and embrace it?

Is anyone ever really alone? Believers in God Almighty are never alone. It follows that awareness of the Presence of God must be cultivated and sought after so lonesomeness can be transformed into the more peaceful and comforting solitude. 

This all sounds like there is some choosing going on, doesn't it? What would be the best way to approach acquiring solitude and rejecting loneliness? I propose active searching after God, His character, His promises and His direction. There is only one place where one can find truth unaltered by cultural distortions and that is in the scripture, the Bible. That is where I am often and where I go in my quest. We have the promise that if we ask, seek and knock, we will receive an open door, an answer without any scolding or recrimination. So, I am going to continue to pursue solitude when I am not serving. How about you?       Doma

Extending Grace

Upon reading my own writing from the 80’s, when I was beginning to find my way around in life as a Christian, I am amazed at my lack of grace toward anyone who thought differently than I did. As time has gone by and my study time in God’s word has increased, I’ve begun to appreciate the grace Christ showed to those around Him.

It was grace that prompted Him to turn water into wine, even though He advised His mother, “My time has not yet come.” Jesus showed grace and compassion to that couple by sparing them embarrassment and saving their wedding feast. Someone else, perhaps an official of the local synagogue, might have chided the families of the bride and groom for not planning well enough. They might have been correct in their estimation of the reason for the problem of running out of wine. Wasn’t grace needed more than an assessment of what caused the problem and blame passing?

Scripture is filled with Jesus’ gracious acts. The woman discovered in the very act of adultery was shown grace. The result was a life spared, a lesson taught and pitiless, self-righteous people made to face their own sins. Extending grace has an amazing effect on those who receive it. After all, “It’s His kindness that leads us to repentance.”Therefore when we show kindness rather than scathing judgment, even when we are correct in our assessment of wrongdoing, perhaps repentance will follow.We can never err by extending grace to others. How they receive it is up to them.     Doma

What Goes In, Comes Out

We all agree that defensive driving is a good idea. What about defensive viewing, listening and thinking when it comes to media intake. Road blocks to clear moral thinking can confront you anytime in the media. “Media can lead us to accept some things without any discussion.” This statement from talk show host Jo Rathmanner on Connecting Faith (KNWC AM) really got my attention. Failing to be discerning about media happens all the time. You are responsible for how you think. How you think comes from what you allow into your mind. Beware of mindless TV or video viewing. It can impair and erode you and your family’s morals!

 An example would be watching a popular situation comedy or a soap opera portraying people compromising their values, swearing or making unwise decisions, presenting all of this with humor so we are sympathetic and feel empathy for the characters. It never ends. An agenda is apparent if you watch with a discerning eye and listen for what the show is selling in the way of acceptable behavior.

There is a rather strange commercial for a casino/hotel that uses images and words one after the other or pairs of words that challenge good, right and correct as though the ideas these words express are wrong, boring and confining. The effect is strange because it leaves a person wandering why this barrage of negative ideas is in any way related to a hotel reservation.

Another complaint I have is swearing continuously in a talk show, movie or TV show. Unbridled cursing is unattractive – period! It simply shows a lack of ability to express one’s self, a limited vocabulary and a mind filled with garbage. I can never take anyone seriously who uses obscene words on a regular basis because it seems to me they are not too bright. Yes, that is a bias I have about people who curse. Just say what you mean, please!

To conclude, I have to get back on my initial idea that indiscriminate viewing and media consumption is destroying morals in our culture. Maybe someone will think twice about what they take in.                                                 Doma